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...Hm. [11 Mar 2004|10:43pm]
[ mood | complacent ]


Your eyes are burning holes through me
I'm gasoline
I'm burnin' clean

Twentieth century go and sleep
You're Pleistocene
That is obscene
That is obscene

You are the star tonight
Your sun electric, outta sight
Your light eclipsed the moon tonight
You're outta sight

If I ever want to fly
Mulholland Drive
I am alive

Hollywood is under me
I'm Martin Sheen
I'm Steve McQueen
I'm Jimmy Dean

If you ever want to fly
Mulholland Drive
Up in the sky
Stand on a cliff and look down there
Don't be scared, you are alive
You are alive

Twentieth century go and sleep
Really deep
We won't blink

Your eyes are burning holes through me
I'm not scared
I'm outta here
I'm not scared
I'm outta here

Some of this American music's not too bad.

[NOTE: this journal is now for pr3dilection rather than FiG. Not deleting the previous entries because..well..I like them. :D Some of them are ambiguous enough to work with the current story, too.
Also, I promise to post more often from now on. ._.; Actually, from tomorrow on. After I finish my scholarship essay. Promise. Really. ;_;]

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[01 Dec 2003|02:43pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Long time no post... *sweatdrop* No, I am not dead. ^_^; Just busy.

Or I would be if my bandmates could ever stop fighting... -_-;

Ehem. Anyways. Christmas is almost here already, can you believe it? It feels like it was just summer a few days ago...wow. Time flies. Well, you know what that means. Family, shopping, traffic...stuff like that. I'm probably going to go visit my parents during that week/weekend (can't remember which day it is)...so yeah. o_o

That's about it for now. I need to go get myself a new pair of shoes...because someone (not to mention any names, right Fujisaki?) used mine for gardening (I don't know how. I don't want to know how.).

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[08 Oct 2003|02:29pm]
[ mood | busy ]


Lots of...stuff..going on lately. So, sorry for the lack of updates!

Although I still don't really have much to say...

Na, Shuichi, Fujisaki, we definitely have work to get done. Why don't you guys come over soon and we can work on some of that?

2 comments|post comment

[08 Oct 2003|12:20pm]

Night already, I'm alone.
It's kind of quiet without your voice
Without those talks we had of useless things.
I turn on the music, turn up the volume
To drown out the silence
To let me forget
You're not here. You never were.

It's a simple, upbeat tune
I watched you move to it,
Savoring every twist of those hips, every turn of the head
Hanging on your every moment

I want to go back to those times, when we were together
When nothing else mattered but us.

Song I'm writing. Just for my own reference, so when I want to finish this...I'll have it here. *sweatdrops* Not like I'm going to show it to anyone, but it's nice to write something again.
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[02 Oct 2003|12:48am]

Anoo, sorry about not being at the studio the other day. I wasn't feeling well, so I decided to stay home! ^_^; But all is well now, and I'll be regularly appearing once again (...as long as everyone else is!).

Anyways...I saw this in Fujisaki's journal and decided I would try it out. Took a nice chunk of time to get done, which was okay since I had nothing to do tonight.

Read more...Collapse )
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[29 Sep 2003|12:59pm]
[ mood | numb ]


I have nothing to say. Nothing I could really want to say to the computer screen, at least.

...Can't go to the studio today. Can't look at him. Won't. (Why the hell do I feel as bad about all of this as I do...?)

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[26 Sep 2003|07:08pm]
[ mood | blank ]


So...I went to work, and no one was there yet. Tried a few experiments with guitar chords while I waited for them to show up, until about lunchtime at least...

Sorry, if anyone actually decided to come in. I just left after that.

And, sorry for not updating this thing lately...guess I haven't had much of anything to update about.

1 comment|post comment

[05 Sep 2003|08:38pm]
[ mood | blank ]


So Shuichi and I watched bad movies. And ate Chinese food. And fenced with chopsticks...which is really fun, by the way, unless someone CHEATS. *cough* >_>

Other than that, nothing really to update, I guess. I should update this thing more often. o_o

Finally got around to taking one of those meme things everyone's been doing lately. Although "favorite color" doesn't really seem like a valid question, when you think about it...

<td bgcolor="#000000">LJ Name</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Favorite Color</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Gay or Not Gay?</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">In denial. So come out already!</td></tr>
Gay or Not Gay? by tashay17
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

...You know what? These meme things are the stupidest things I've ever seen.
4 comments|post comment

[31 Aug 2003|11:28am]
[ mood | calm ]


I'm never going to bars EVER again. Besides. It's just as easy to get drunk in my apartment with the TV on. Right? Right. So that's decided.

...Ehh. Don't ask.

Anyways...um. Hello, people commenting in my journal. O_O; People leave such interesting remarks...

Things've been pretty busy lately...the tour's starting soon, and all. I'm excited, definitely. Sorry, I'm rambling again. I never have anything to say in this thing. Maybe I'll have something to comment on later or something. ^_^;;

4 comments|post comment

[21 Aug 2003|08:35pm]
[ mood | bored ]


I do not care. I do NOT care. I don't. Really.

...I don't think I'm fooling anyone actually, more or less myself. So nevermind. -_-;

Ehh, anyways. Between work and everything else, I sorta forgot about this thing. Sorry 'bout that! Don't worry though, I still love you all. ^_^

This apartment's too quiet though. Maybe I should get a dog, at least it'd bark and stuff..or maybe not. I don't think I'm allowed to have pets.

6 comments|post comment

[12 Aug 2003|12:59am]
[ mood | blank ]


Got back a few hours ago. Figured I should let everyone know. I won't detail the trip here, but ask if you really need to know.

And yeah, I'll be going in for work tomorrow. Sorry about the sudden leave, again.

[07 Aug 2003|04:42pm]
[ mood | packing x_x ]

Ano.. ^^; Sorry for the lack of notice, but. Ayaka-chan invited me up for the weekend, so I'll b in Kyoto until...Monday, I think.

No worries though, I'm sure you all can manage just fine without me. ^_^

4 comments|post comment

Happy birthday to yours truly ^_^ [04 Aug 2003|11:22pm]
[ mood | content ]

Pretty average Monday. Went to work, hung with friends for a little while, came home, turned 20. Y'know, everyday stuff.

...Except that last part. ^^;;;

OOC noteCollapse )

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...I blame it on the tour. [02 Aug 2003|06:39pm]
[ mood | confused ]


Y'know, I used to think life was pretty simple. It was, actually. Wake up, go to school, pine over the girl you like in second period- not a word about that, though- homework. Studying, tests, hanging out with friends after school. Thinking about college. Playing a bit of music sometimes. That's how it used to be.

I think...looking back on it, it was nice. Not having to worry about anything like this.

My girlfriend is most likely only dating me to replace her former fiance. I'm debating my relationship with my best friend, who is also dating my girlfriend's former fiance, and...well, there are plenty more twists where that came from.

When did life turn into a live-action soap opera? When did the drama graduate high school and enter into the real world? When does this fantasy end, and real life begin?

I never told K-san, or Sakano, or even Shuichi. Never said a word about that. It's part of the reason I wanted to quit Bad Luck - it doesn't feel like real life. Reporters and CD sales, dating famous people, sunglasses. It's a fantasy I dreamed about when I was a kid...I never expected to be living it. I guess it scared me, almost scared me away from it.

...I was planning for medical school. My parents had hopes for me there and everything. While I think they're happy with me as a successful musician, I can't help but believe they're disappointed that I left the path they made for me.

Boy, I'm really ungrateful aren't I? I've got so much - a successful career, friends that care enough to embarass me on live TV, talent, fans. I even get to be around my idols. How many people can have all of that...and not be happy?

Guess that means it's time for me to step back and take a good look. Count my blessings, before they're all gone. I shouldn't even be worrying about any of this anyways, there's not a whole lot I can do about any of it.

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[31 Jul 2003|03:26pm]
[ mood | bored ]


Heh! Sorry, it's been a while since my last update. Things've been pretty busy lately - lots of practicing and the like. We have a concert tour coming up, after all! This is cool...but does anyone know specifically when it is? It might be nice to know, right?

Admittedly, I'm sorta nervous. If we screw up, it'd be a major deal.

...Not like we will, of course. Not with all of the practicing we've done lately. ^_^;;;

3 comments|post comment

[14 Jul 2003|08:24pm]
[ mood | amused ]


A cat.


...Who would've thought it. Heh. ^_^;; I knew it would be something stupid like that. That's exactly the way he is, though. But I'm glad he's back.

...Well. Under most circumstances, at least. I could live without those calls at 4 in the morning, though. I think I was having a nice dream, too. Ah, well. It's not very often when you get to just go hang out outside of a coffee shop at 5 in the morning. ^^; I don't see why places like that aren't open that early...isn't that when you need caffeine the most?

Ah, anyways. Things are back to normal around here, it seems, which is a pretty good thing. Hopefully this week we'll actually get some work done.

6 comments|post comment

[01 Jul 2003|07:11pm]
[ mood | confused ]



Since when did my life end because Shuichi wasn't around? I mean, I know...we've been friends for a long time...but this is pathetic.

I don't get it...why is this getting to me so much? I just don't UNDERSTAND why I do this. I get so...wrapped up...in every little thing. It's not healthy, I know that. But I don't think I know how to cut it out.

Meh...maybe I just need to go clear my head or something. Get out of here for a while. Talk to people. Or...something like that.

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[26 Jun 2003|09:23pm]
[ mood | anxious ]


Well, it's almost Friday. Which means that Shuichi's missed just about a week of work, which is completely unlike him. I even went to look for him the other night, but...no luck. Not even Eiri-san knows where he is.

I'm really worried at this point. In the long time I've known him, he's never pulled a stunt like this. Well...no...not even a 'stunt' - I don't think he'd even joke around about something like this. But if someone's done something to him...I don't care, they're going to pay dearly. After what's already happened, he does not deserve any more of this crap. Period.


I'm going to go take a walk.

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[22 Jun 2003|07:27pm]
[ mood | restless ]



Shuichi never showed up at work today.

...Should I be worried? I mean, it's not the first time he's gone MIA for a little while (knock wood), and he probably has some reason... So, I won't worry about it now. He'll probably be back tomorrow, anyways. If not...I'll go over and check things out...

But, ehh. We didn't get much done today. But we got to read some fan mail! Which is always...interesting. We have some strange fans. But hey, they give great compliments. And we all have our quirks, ne?

...Think I'll give Ayaka-chan a call. Talking to her usually takes my mind off of things.

6 comments|post comment

[13 Jun 2003|09:45am]
[ mood | apathetic ]


...Well, it started out fine. I mean, I think so. Did it start well, or was that just me? I'm not sure anymore. But hell, I thought it was going fine.

Until they walked in the door.

I guess -- yeah, you could really feel the entire atmosphere change at that point. Shuichi's mood definitely changed - I got more tense, even Sakuma-san seemed to start acting differently. And then they had the nerve to stay there after what they've done--

...But it's in the past. I just...mah. I don't know what they were up to (I don't even care, at this point), but they changed the whole mood of things. Even Fujisaki couldn't change that when he waltzed in the door.

Eiri-san could, though. All he had to do was open the door, and Shuichi was under that spell of his again. When he left, Shuichi and the entire party went with him, no joke.

I hope nothing's happened to him. I hope that guy didn't hurt him again, didn't abuse his mind, whatever he does that makes Shuichi upset so often. Damnit, why does he let himself get hurt like that? It's not healthy to be hurting that much, especially by the one you love...

How can he love someone like that...?

I guess...yeah, I'm starting to doubt things a bit. Shuichi doesn't need me, he needs Eiri-san. So why do I feel like I have to insist on being there whenever he's hurt, or upset, or...


I guess he's one of those people it's hard not to love...

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